Entry 50: Andersen knows what’s up

Leo :: Thank you for you efforts. It’s unfortunate that we couldn’t locate Mr. Gatou, but Hakuno’s safety comes first.

Rin :: Welcome back Hakuno. I’m working on analyzing the image data and information from the cameras that were tracking you. The truth Rani’s better suited for this kind of thing than I am though. But it looks like she’s our enemy, so Leo and I will have to do our best to analyze instead.

[Rin is dressed in the same sailor-style uniform as Hakuno now.]

Leo :: As you can see, Miss Tohsaka has made a full recovery. From now on backup will be performed by Miss Tohsaka and myself.

It feels good knowing Rin will be on back up now. She has lost her Servant, but she’s an exceptional wizard. She’ll be much more reliable than I am. My only merit is that I have a contracted Servant.

Rin :: Though as a result we’ve asked Julius to undertake some very dangerous work. While you keep Rani and her allies’ attention, he will be investigating the Sakura Labyrinth. It’ll be layers you’ve already gone through, but there may be some clues left behind. …it is a dirty job though, with high risk and low returns.

Gawain :: There’s no need for concern. Subversive tactics are Julius’s specialty. He is a knight of shadows, carrying out his duties. No matter what dangers he encounters, no matter what he becomes, he will return to Leo’s side.

Rin :: …which is to say, our white knight won’t say he’ll come back safely. I didn’t think the say would come when I’d sympathize with Julius, but here we are.

Leo :: He trusts in my brother. Now, Miss Tohsaka. Please share the results of our earlier analysis with Hakuno.

Rin :: Yes, yes. With Sakura’s help, I’ve tried to measure the depth of the Labyrinth by passive sonar. We found that the Labyrinth is six floors in total. As my Labyrinth was three floors, we think the remaining three are Rani’s. So if we capture Rani the same way you did with me, we should be able to reach the Labyrinth’s exit.

[I’m sorry Rin, but the dungeon entrance screen shows way more levels than that.]

Leo :: Which coincides with the Sentinel System. The only women used as protective cores were Miss Tohsaka and Rani VIII, after all. The shields aren’t so much strong as they are impossible to penetrate under normal circumstances. Thanks to Kiara we have a way to unlock them, but if she weren’t here we’d have been trapped forever. Including girls’ hearts in the core of the Labyrinth is certainly an impressive stunt. It wouldn’t be possible if she weren’t possessed of an exceptional quasi-spiritual form. This is just based on the scope of my own knowledge, but the only ones in our Holy Grail War with a disposition able to survive as a Labyrinth core were those two.

Gawain :: Lady Rin and Lady Rani…you mean that BB was unfortunate in that she only found two qualified persons?

Leo :: Certainly. It’s possible that she’s still searching the near side for qualified candidates at present, but that’s a race against time. We should acquire Rani’s SGs and break through the Labyrinth before BB can secure a new Sentinel.

Rin :: SGs…SGs…! I’m opposed to forcibly exposing people’s secrets, but…and when we get back to the near side I’m going to give all of you a merciless beating…but for now escape is the top priority. So there’s nothing we can do but make Rani put on a humiliating show for us like I did before…?

Leo :: Indeed. Hakuno, please continue to make contact with Rani, and find an opening in her heart.

[On the way back to the arena, I stop to talk to Andersen, whom Kiara would prefer I not inform of the stuff she told us before…?]

Andersen :: Gathering information…? You’re an incorrigible layabout. I don’t care, I’ll help you if it’s within my area of knowledge. My Master happens to be a depraved woman, as you can see. What’s your game, coming here asking me for assistance. Do you think I’m some obscure rental library? How *friendly*! But this is business, you can’t choose your readers. The topic of this composition will be Servants. Now, what shall I discuss?

[>] About the red Lancer

Well then…I’ll try asking about that red Lancer.

Andersen :: Ah, the dragon-child employed by BB? An ugly woman. And not just her appearance, though that much is clear, but her personality as well. Her upbringing was ugly. Her thoughts are ugly. Her idiosyncrasies are ugly. Her senses are ugly. She doesn’t bear looking on. She may seem very proud at a glance, but in fact no one else can see its source. That woman’s pride is aimed toward no one. What a joke! She treats humans as pigs. Which is to say, she puffs herself up in pride to lord over pigs! She may be the very incarnation of self-love, but, well then. What is love in the first place? Something stolen? Something bestowed? A woman who does not even notice its source is an uncontrollable monster in this world. That woman seems proud of her own beauty, but — Heh. No matter what gaudy decorations you festoon over a sack packed with garbage, it won’t change the stench of the contents. To fixate on beauty is a woman’s saga, I suppose. Take care, that brand of ugliness is contagious. The women of your acquaintance may some day come to say similar things, you know?

[>] About my Servant

…this is a good opportunity. He can tell me about Caster.

Andersen :: Your Servant? Well then, bring her out. I’ll give you an expert opinion on every nook and cranny, down to the asshole.

[Okay, hold up.]

Caster :: Ufufufu. Just because you're a writer you think you can say whatever you want, yes? Right, let's go. Rooftop, now. I'll blow you into the Sakura Labyrinth.

Andersen :: I'm not the only one who doesn't think before I speak. And what the hell are those fox ears, anyway? It's over the top even for the whole "charmer" shtick. Isn't it embarrassing?

Caster :: I'm not a "charmer" or anything! They're lovely little idiosyncrasies! I guess a child like you wouldn't understand that, though!

Andersen :: I'm firmly in the cat ears faction. If you pushed enough, I could come around to dog ears. But the very existence of fox ears is nothing more than an error. My pen feels heavier just thinking about it.

Caster :: Su -- SUNSHINE 2030!

[What.]

Caster :: Ah, that was close. I almost got so mad I blew up the sun. I haven't felt this humiliated since Abe no Seimei! Master, let's go! Any time spent with this rebellious brat is completely wasted.

Andersen :: Wait, fox-ears. I've changed my mind. Those ears aren't too bad, actually. In fact, the fact that they're ugly actually makes them more appealing. Show them to me a bit more.

Caster :: Wh-what are you doing! Don't touch me there! Even Master hasn't touched me there yet!

Andersen :: Ah. I see. Hmm. Yes. ....Damn, they were real. Haaa.... I was hoping for some new form of cosplay. You're a letdown.

Caster :: Your entire character is a letdown! Why are you only such a hard hitter when it comes to me?!

Andersen :: They say the soul of a child lasts 'til adulthood. I'm bored already. Let's move on to fairytales.

Caster :: Master, your orders please! I'd like to go ahead and blow away this straw house of a kid... Wait-. Oi, brat. What's going on under that uniform?

Andersen :: What, you're interested in my naked body?

Caster :: Nope.

Andersen :: I see. The pink made me think there wasn't much going on between your ears. But I see you're sharp-eyed - or, rather, sharp-eared. As you've guessed, my body isn't something that can be lightly shown. It's the curse of the mermaid princess and the match seller. The stories I've written are encroaching on my body.

Caster :: -----. [Surprised]

Andersen ::  I'm taking damage from the gossip my readers spread. Every time I wrote, my readers thought "The authors must be this kind of person". That idea was then fixed on my body. My legs are covered in fish scales. My arms are covered in burns. And my heart is a demon that can only seek bad endings. This is the price of fame. Actually, the readers really captured me. They're really persistent in considering subjectively how others might be. After all, you're the same, aren't you, fox-ears? You who admired humans, went so far as to reincarnate into a human, and finally was considered as a monster by humans. In Japanese children's literature, there's a story called Gangitsune. It's a perfect fit for you. All that awaits those who love and attend humans is death by misunderstanding. But - It's because you understand that and still serve them that you're able to touch their hearts. Fox-ears. Your devotion will, well, eventually, reach their hearts.

[Nankichi, the author of Gangitsune, is sometimes referred to as Japan's Hans Christian Andersen. Cool reference.]

Caster ::  --hmmph. I didn't ask for your help. And you've got the wrong impression.... But, well, it'd be immature to lash out at a kid, right? I'll spare you a death by big bad wolf for now.

Andersen :: That was fast. Already dere, huh.

Caster :: There won't be a time when I go dere for you even after the Sun's gone out!

[>] About Andersen

I’ll try asking about this boyish Servant, Andersen.

Andersen :: About me? You idiot. This is the furthest boundary of pointlessness. To ask this of a man who is to all ends exactly as he appears…

…No. I asked because judging from appearances tells me absolutely nothing about him. What powers does he have? Can he fight with that physique? And why does he take the form of a child in the first place?

Andersen :: How should I know? When I was called out, I was already in this form. Of course I have no combat capabilities. I am, at my core, completely useless.

Andersen declares himself useless. Perhaps this is why Kiara Sesshouin is so afraid. Even if Kiara herself were an A-rank wizard, partnered with this Servant she wouldn’t be able to do anything, Grail War or otherwise. Also, Servants exist in the form they had in their heyday in their myth or story. It seems Andersen doesn’t follow that rule either.

Andersen :: I think I follow it. My interpretation is that in my case, I had much more sensitivity as a child. And something else comes to mind. Looking over the documents of my past self, their style is so far from mine I want to die. Don’t make a fuss about it, child prodigies are just people once twenty years have passed. What is more frightening is…it’s just a possibility, but, if I had been called with this age because of some special interest of that witch. I would ask, but even I am afraid to know if it’s true. Therefore, I avoid the subject.

Kiara :: My oh my, what cheery voices I hear from you two. Would it be all right for me to join your discussion?

Andersen :: ………

Andersen sighs heavily. His melancholy too much to grasp. I think I should also take care in matters relating to this question…

[This updates Andersen’s information matrix. His stats are STR E, AGI E, Mana EX, Luck E, END E, and he has the skill High-Speed Incantation E – not the same skill as Fate/stay night Caster’s High-Speed Divine Words.]

 Modified from the translation at https://tsukinoura.wordpress.com/2013/08/03/entry-50-andersen-knows-whats-up/. Please support the original translator.