Entry 38: Some people are just classier than others

The door to the janitor’s room is locked tightly…

Caster :: It doesn't look like she wants to come out. According to my texting-friend Osakabehime, 

Your room tastes like honey

If you have your net friends

And are offered pizza

You'd lock the door for years.

Caster :: It's that kind of thing.

Of course, there’s only one thing to be done. I pound on the door, and shout. “Jinako Karigiri! I need to talk to you, open the door!”

Jinako :: No way! Are you my mom!? Just leave me alone! And anyway, going outside is stupid. Even if we go back to the Grail War, we’ll just have to kill each other, y’know? Why would we wanna go back? And this place is the best. I dunno who’s paying the electricity bills and stuff, but the internet connection is super fast, and it’s way over the tera-HD limits. I can enjoy all the comforts of the Earth, and I don’t need to take protein. You’re all crazy, wanting to leave a paradise like this. Occult or something. How about I just stay here and enjoy my relaxation-victory, and all of you can just go to your…Sakuran palace? Something like that? You can go there and kill each other as much as you want!

[Jinako's speech is super slangy, and she sounds like she spends too much time on YouTube or something. She also uses a decent amount of English loanwords.]

…It’s no good, we won’t be able to discuss this. Jinako just doesn’t want to listen to me. Since she’s been listening in on our conversations in the student council room, she should know what’s going on. And moreover, she’s declared that this has nothing to do with her, so to half-hearted persuasion won’t even get me inside — Caster…?

Caster :: Alright, I can't take this anymore! That useless woman! She's too similar to how I used to be, and I don't want to remember that!

…it broke. No, he destroyed it. With one blow from an indignant Caster, the several-fold lock has been completely destroyed.

Caster :: Hands up, this is a raid! Let the sun expose your mail-order-softened lifestyle! 

Jinako :: Uwaaaah —!? Hey, how’re you coming in here!? Have you no human heart!? You don’t, do you!?

Caster :: Hurry up, ab-meat! [in English] Face the world outside! If you don't, I'll bring the power of the sun and the north winds to bear on that flab! If you don't want to be roasted into teriyaki, get up!

We break into the room, and Caster reaches out a hand toward Jinako Karigiri, who is wrapped, or rather sprawled out in her futon. And just before —

Caster :: Hmm? Is that the sun? Am I about to become teriyaki?

[Flash of light, person appears!]

Unnamed man :: Your complaints are natural. However, I must uphold my contract. I can’t turn a blind eye to any further violence. Withdraw your hand, Caster. She is just the sort of being she appears to be, but Jinako is my master. If you lay hand on her, I will have to join battle as well.

Caster :: —. [surprised Chiwa Saitou noises]

Caster stands still. She wasn’t shocked by the flash of light just now. She’s genuinely amazed by the power of the Servant before us. A lean figure in black and gold. Calm eyes, but with a glint piercing as a spear. White hair that lies as it pleases. The hard set of his lips expresses a taciturn disposition. This is Jinako’s Servant…As a Master, even a inexperienced one, I can tell in one glance. This Servant is a heroic spirit on the same level as Leo’s Gawain, possibly even higher!

Jinako :: Oh, you came out. What d’you mean, “Jinako is my master.” You can’t even go shopping or guard duty, you can’t be called an adult in anything but the Servant screen.

Unnamed man :: …it’s true. My Provocation skill is no match for your superior trolling skills. But that is self-evident. To reach that level, you would have to waste the better part of your life in the process. I, who lived by the arts of war, am very far from your skills. That kind of thing is simply bizarre to me. …this is actually an important matter. I can’t understand what the use of it is, but to have such enthusiasm for the evaluation of others…It is an asceticism I cannot emulate. My master, Jinako Karigiri. For what purpose do you live?

Jinako :: …see, that’s what I'm talking about. You…Karna, you really haven’t ever grown up, you know.

Karna — is that this Servant’s true name? Which means Jinako just went and said his true name? Which means —

Jinako :: Yep. I’ve got no interest in the Holy Grail War, and less interest in going outside. So this guy’s completely useless. Can’t clean, can’t make a joke, he sucks at games, and all he does when he opens his mouth is criticize me. A complete miss, completely unsuitable as a Servant for an elite gamer like me, that’s Karna. There’s no way I’d fight together with this guy. Ahh…I really wanted a shota Servant, too…a pretty, innocent boy like that pervy woman’s Andersen-tan would’ve been scrumptious…ah, no, I haven’t talked to him made recordings or anything, but I’m sure he sounds and acts just like angel. The great Jinako has an eye for these things.

[“Shota” is the male equivalent term to “loli,” for anyone unaware. Also, she said "elite gamer" in English.]

Karna guards Jinako wordlessly. Caster hasn’t spoken a word, just keeping her gaze fixed on Karna. Karna shows no hostility, but definitely no gaps in his defense either. That quiet fighting spirit clearly surpasses Caster. …if it came to a fight with this Servant, there’s no question which way things would go. Ironically, Karna’s Master Jinako is the only one unaware of this power difference.

Karna :: …I’m sorry. You all are right this time. Jinako’s points are little but childish selfishness.

Jinako :: I’m not a kid! I’m a full — a full-grown young adult!

Karna :: However, I’d like you to understand that snails have their own snail pride. Could you accept that for now and withdraw?

Karna’s quiet, overpowering…or no, sincere appeal. It seems like if we were able to compel Jinako to do it, Karna would come fight to us, but I think Jinako wouldn’t help fight even if we dragged her into the Sakura Labyrinth. As Karna said, there’s nothing we can do now but withdraw.

Karna :: Thank you. We may not be able to cooperate, but as you can see, Jinako is a bit of a loner. Please come by and see if you can teach her something from time to time.

Jinako :: Hey, I'm not lonely! What are you, my dad?

Karna :: Sorry, but in terms of ages, that's just not possible. Think of me like a younger brother.

Jinako :: Gah! That's where you should say older brother....

…a strange pair. Even though their speech and personalities don’t mesh at all, and Jinako seriously doesn’t like Karna, the mood isn’t dangerous. Maybe it’s because Karna respects Jinako. So it just becomes Jinako having a fight by herself.

Jinako :: *pant, pant*…oh fine, I guess we can cooperate a little? I’ll participate in the student council meetings from my monitor from now on, so hurry up and get out! I’m going to sleep! Wake me if anything interesting happens!

We’re locked out of the janitor’s room and leave it behind us. …it’s went about half how I expected, there wasn’t anything else to be done. I’m still uneasy about it, but Caster and I need to go explore the Sakura Labyrinth by ourselves.

Modified from the translation at https://tsukinoura.wordpress.com/2013/07/17/entry-38-some-people-are-just-classier-than-others/. Please support the original translator.