Entry 41: Deep in repression

[We proceed a short way into the dungeon, then find Rin, who walks away without noticing us.]

Caster :: That Rin had a kind of zombie-like aura. This may spell good news for us!

Sakura :: I can confirm that that was another one of Miss Rin’s copies.

Leo :: Her Servant isn’t here either. We have an opportunity to obtain another SG here. Please follow her.

[We follow her through a series of vanishing pathways dotted with enemies, which wind around the two shields in this layer, making the shields pretty much pointless. We find her between the shields.]

Rin :: *sighs*…how many times is it now…this is my limit for running back and forth like this…Ahaha…it’s cold, I feel faint…but there’s nothing I can do, these are my orders. Orders are absolute, it’s all because of my orders…Anyway, I have to collect…have to deliver them soon…

Leo :: Indeed, this version of Miss Tohsaka is unusual. She doesn’t seem to have noticed our presence here. Hakuno, keep tracing her steps. We need to find out what she’s doing.

[Following continues.]

We’ve caught up with Rin…! As Leo said, she’s really acting strange. Her face is pale and her eyes are blank. She holds a syringe in one hand and pricks her own arm with it. What could that —

Rin :: More…I need to prepare more blood…that’s what Lancer says…as her Master, I have to obey…why I am I doing something so painful…after I finally became the queen…Ah, but if I disobey I’ll be tied up…! That girl’s all selfishness, but she’s strong…and aristocratic…and her tail…listening to her orders is kind of, really —

Rin mutters to herself over and over. I don’t know what she’s doing, but it’s dangerous. There no way I can let her keep going like this…!

Rin :: Kishinami…!? W-when did you get here!?

Caster :: Quite a while ago. Ah, don't worry about us - you looked like you were enjoying yourself, so please feel free to continue with your "self-harm".

Rin :: Just leave me alone! This is just alchemy! It’s none of your business! Come out, come out! Make these eavesdroppers beg for a good scolding!

[Rin calls in an enemy program.]

Caster :: Ah, Rin's in high spirits today ♪  Then - me too, me too! Go away, go away, off-i-cer, can't you see my master's coat-of-arms!

[I have no idea what she's talking about. It seems like a Tamamo-ified nursery rhyme or something. If anyone wants to try and figure it out, go ahead.]

[We kill the thing.]

Leo :: Has Miss Tohsaka fled already? This copy really is different from the ones we’ve met before.

Sakura :: Her signal is still in the Labyrinth. Let’s search the area and we should soon be able to attempt to corner her.

[Some searching later, we find some stairs.]

Sakura [audio only] :: Her signal's right up ahead.

Leo [audio only] :: Her response seems different somehow. Please be careful

[Sadly I can’t get a good picture of the vista here, but as I move toward the end of the area the red carpeted paths a buildings and towers give way to a sea over which the sun is setting, which a couple stay buildings set out in the water, and the path leading out through the air directly toward the setting sun. We find a slightly odd area on the other side.]

There, Rin and…Lancer! But, what is that thing behind them…? It doesn’t match the underlying aesthetic of these layers at all. It seems to be a door blocking the road, but unlike the shields it’s overwhelmingly massive.

Sakura :: Analysis, complete! Unbelievable…it has the same signal as the shields, but on a 

whole different scale…! If the shields are doors, then this is a fortress…a perfect barrier…!

A barrier…so, even if we reveal her SG, this wall won’t disappear…More importantly, with Rin and Lancer both here, there’s no avoiding a fight. It’ll be a fight to the death…!

Lancer :: Now, what is this? I told you I required 200 liters. And yet you’ve only brought me 10 liters?

Rin :: S-sorry about that…But, this was all I could manage…you couldn’t fill a bath with it, but maybe a shower…

Lancer :: That’s quite enough excuses. Right Rin? You said it yourself didn’t you? You told me to stop draining the swine in the torture chamber. It was something impossible for me to conceive of, but you are my attendant, after all. So just for you I did as you said…Did you really ask that of me without any backup plan in mind?

Rin :: Well, I…making you stop was my top priority, so…

Lancer :: Silence, please!

[She strikes Rin.]

Rin :: Aah…!

Lancer :: You think you can be a queen like that!? With no alternate source to collection from! With no ability to support me!

[Several more strikes.]

Lancer :: I’m asking you if you gave me orders simply because you felt sorry for those swine!

[Another strike.]

Rin :: Gh, ah…! I, I’m sorry Lancer…! I’ll get the full amount for you next time, so…!

Lancer :: Hmph, naturally you will. This is education. The whip of love. My tail! You must endure this, Rin! If I don’t, instruct you, carefully, you’ll be just, a normal, Master again!

[She’s just striking Rin continuously at this point.]

 

…what is this. I don’t know the context, but Lancer is attacking Rin. And Rin, though she’s the Master, isn’t stopping it. She hangs her head and a resigns herself to bear the blows of Lancer’s tail. She looks like a slave choosing to receive her punishment.

Caster :: Stooooop! Hey, don't give Rin any weird kinks! She already stands out plenty - if she gets any more interesting points added on, I'll lose standing!

[Stop was in English. Kind of a catchphrase, she likes that one.]

Rin :: Kishinami…!? When did you get all the way here…!?

Lancer :: Oh my. If it isn’t the little squirrel and her third-rate Servant. Why don’t you keep out of other people’s business? This is the proper state of things between Rin and me. Rin works for my sake, and by Rin’s sweat I become beautiful. Rin amasses wealth for my sake, and I quench my thirst with Rin’s tears. It’s only natural that Rin and I don’t have a Master and Servant, ruler and ruled type of relationship. Rin is a lovely girl who will grant all of my wishes, so — like this, I too fulfill Rin’s wishes!

[More striking.]

Rin :: Aaah…! Ha, agh, ugh…!

Lancer :: Come on, Rin, obey me! I will command you and your talents! I can give you the coldness you desire better than anyone else!

Lancer’s tail strikes Rin with abandon. But for some reason Rin still doesn’t move. She doesn’t stop Lancer as her Master.

…! I just caught a glimpse into Rin’s heart. So that state is one of the depths of Rin’s heart!?

Caster :: Hahaha, I thought so. I had an inkling she was into that sort of thing. Right then, leave that lizard-woman to me!

I nod to Caster, and kick off from the ground. Caster will block Lancer’s tail with her mirror, and in that opening, I will reach out my hand to Rin’s chest. Rin’s final SG. It has to be —

> The wish to be a tragic heroine
[>] The wish to be a subservient heroine
> The wish to be a comic heroine

Sakura :: Yes, I think that’s it! Miss Rin is the type who will stay, like this, even when hit!

I don’t know about the way she phrased it, but Sakura’s comment is accurate. Rin’s secret desire is “the exact opposite of her normal self,” i.e.,  “Desire for Subjugation!”

[The glowing from Rin’s chest starts]

Rin :: No, no, it’s not, don’t look…! This isn’t — this isn’t me! Ah, it might feel, kind of good, but — ah, aah, aaaaaaaaah!

[SG capture!]

Rin :: Ah…ahaha…you saw…you’ve seen my secret…It’s true, I wanted someone to command me. Always having to keep it together, puff out my chest, act cool, I’m just tired. At the bottom of my heart, I always wanted it to get easier. I always wanted to be the one being commanded, everyday, no freedom, with someone else telling me what to do.

Rin’s body is becoming transparent. That was one of Rin’s secrets…the subconscious “desire to become the opposite of myself.” All human beings have two sides, a yin and a yang. Maybe this Rin is something that could never exist as the real Rin, the Rin of some alternate world.

[So she’s..Shadow Rin? /persona4 /jung]

Rin :: …heehee, ahaha…ahh, finally I feel better. Thank you Hakunon. — in gratitude, I’m going to kill you. I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you. I’m definitely going to kill you. I’m not going to be soft on you or feel bad for you anymore. If you want to tear my heart to pieces, do it. And when you do, I’ll pay you back one-thousand-fucking-fold!

[She vanishes.]

Lancer :: My my. Rin went back to her main body. You aren’t just a squirrel, are you? Well, whatever. Now Rin’s gone, I’ll have to be a wet blanket as well and call an end to tonight’s live show. Good bye, now. Go forth to your miserable end in this Labyrinth of no escape, okay?

Leo :: She went into that relief…!? Sakura, where did Lancer’s signal go!? 

Sakura :: …it’s no use. Her signal has vanished. I can measure the special space inside that wall, but there’s no way to get inside…Also, when we destroyed Miss Rin’s copy, the spirit particles that composed her form flowed into that wall.

Leo :: Which means that there’s a high probably Miss Tohsaka’s real body is inside that relief. …I understand. Hakuno, come back once more. We need an expert on the soul for this. Let’s go ask Kiara Sesshouin.

Modified from the translation at https://tsukinoura.wordpress.com/2013/07/22/entry-41-deep-in-repression/. Please support the original translator.